Tick, tick, tick.....

It is December 30th!  Yahoo!  Can't wait for this year to be kicked to the curb.  My life has felt like it was in utter turmoil for the past 11 months.  First the Band slipping, then the recovery and grieving phase while I struggled to keep the weight off.... then the most horrible realization that it was going to be a fight with the insurance company to get the Revision VSG.   Months of fighting, then to have to give in and ultimately gain my weight back, just to get a new tool to take it all off.  Accompanied by my weight gain, I got back some good old high blood pressure, depression, sleep apnea and a really lovely thing, a belly full of fibroids (may be triggered by my weight gain) we will wait to see if they magically disappear once I start losing weight again.  I am going to be positive now!  They WILL improve, all of these new/old maladies will go away when my new life begins again in January!!  I am one of the "lucky" ones that actually has had a huge success after WLS and understands the complete life altering experience.  My Lap Band experience was so positive on EVERY aspect of my life, I just can't wait to get this party started!  I read up on the forums and get so excited when I see all the people getting ready to start their journeys, or just back from the hospital and the "vets" who have been on the Loser's Bench for some time now.

I am going to start a week of what I would expect/plan to be my Post-Op Life diet on January 1st. Then, on January 7th, I will commence the dreaded Pre-Op diet before my surgery on January 14th.  I have been reading and planning for the last week like a crazy person. My favorite past-time is reading http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/   Having a little vacation time has given me a chance to read up on many of the WLS stories on various blogs and plan out my Post-Op strategies.  I think it is funny that even though my Lap Band surgery was in July of 2010, I have very little recollection of those early days.  I was fortunate that I had no complications and had great success, making goal weight in 8 months.   My kids were younger (14 and 12) and I wasn't in a relationship.  I think that I made food for the kids and something else for me.  I really don't remember the meals at the dinner table back then, we kinda lost that important aspect of our family.   I was also very secretive with the whole surgery thing...  I was scared that it made me look weak.  I didn't tell many people at all.  I had also made the kids feel that they were to treat Mommy's surgery as a "secret".  I am sure that it was very stressful for everyone who knew my "secret" to keep it safe....  How silly?!    In retrospect, I think that the Band slipping, gave me the opportunity to come clean.  Secrets are really hard to keep.  Support is what I need now and will need in the future.  I am surrounded by people that love me unconditionally whether I am "fluffy" or "fit".  I was ALWAYS surrounded by those people, I just didn't realize it back then, I know it now on this "do over".

Things I have realized recently:

• I know NOTHING about the true values of most of the food I eat.  Especially protein and carbs.
• I like Fage yogurt.
• I am tired of wearing Rob's clothes.  (I refused to buy clothes as I became "fluffier") He thinks I wear them because I love him.....  I do, but I miss my clothes......
• I hardly drink ANY water anymore.